Living in the Library...

I remember Karma said her brain turned to mush once she had kids. Yeah, that sounds kinda rough, but does anyone even remember what finals week does to your brain? I hate to say it, but I think I win...

This is the week before finals, and I literally spend my days and nights with good old Harold B. Lee... I get calls from friends all the time, asking where I am. My response? "Ive moved out of my apartment and into the Library. I'll see you in January."

Because I am spending so much time in my head instead of with friends, I can literally feel my sanity fading. I have developed habits. While I am writing my papers on Islamic and Christian Fundamentalism, I search for words I cant recall. Ive created a "Control F" way to find words in my brain.... Physically pull out the word from my brain with my finders, like pulling a gob of gunk off of my face. Ive noticed myself doing this action every time I am stumped. I think Ive even done it once or twice while writing this paper. We arent talking about extrememly acacemic words, either. We are talking about worlds like "things" and "stuff" Dont ask me how these have become illusive in my mind, but that is what finals flubber does I suppose.

Another problem Ive developed is tyring to find a way to release my energy that I accumulate while sitting for hours at a time: imagine getting up and dancing and singing at the top of my lungs in front of all the other nerds here on a Friday night. I really have had to hold myself back a few times. Am I the only in this room going crazy??!?!

I listen to songs, over and over and over again...Ive learned that I cannot listen to music with lyrics for obvious reasons, but I have only so much instrumental music. John Tesh is a wonderful musicain, but starts to grate on you after the 8th time through his compalation.

I lurch for my phone, if I have the slightest reason to think that it might be ringing. A text? A call? An alarm? Anything to distract me from Japanese continuity...Usually no one is there. But I am pretty aware of the time (all there is to look at on a phone when no call is coming in) ALL of the time.

ALthough my Brain is muddled, my spirits are high. I have certain music that I take breaks to that entertain me for the following 18 minutes or however long it is until I can go without a break. I have a new favorite. Michael Buble' singing "And I can't beleive, that I'm your Man. And I get to kiss you, Baby, just because I can.... Whatever comes our way, oh we'll see it through. And you know thats what our love can do..." I don't get up and dance, but you better believe I CANNOT refrain from doing a little bit of dancing in this chair. I sit in front of the room by the windows, facing outside, so I have no idea who sees...but I dont care. Maybe I'm keeping someone who sits behind me sane...Watching me is their break. :-)

I feel like my eyes are glazed over. I feel like my hair is getting pushed out of my head because too much information is stuffed in my brain. I feel like my fingers are superglued to the keys. (I must have grown a few fingers in this process) I feel like Im going to have a few sleepness nights ahead. I feel like Ive never been more ready to come home!--Riah